I feel as if i'm drowning. Quite literally. Sometimes, if I think too much in lectures, I feel as if i'm slowly suffocating; and sometimes late at night when I'm by myself. Sometimes I just feel so heavy that I wish the ground would open up already.
I think it all stems from this girl I met. She lives in the same building as I do, and I think we got on really well together, you know, better than just someone else. But I'm just worried that I'm not going to see her again. I know, she lives above me in the same building, how could I not see her again! But she goes to a different uni than I do, she has different friends, different timetable; it might be nigh on impossible? Perhaps I'm being to selfish? Why would she have any interest in me? A geeky guy who couldn't do anything but music and ended up flunking everything else because he just didn't care? How do I even know if she's single?
I'm beginning to think I over analyse things, but then I would want to go and analyse that, which invariably proves it right. Sometimes I just wish I would chill out, but I just don't know how. I've been rejected romantically so many times that sometimes I just want to give up. In fact I have, several times, but something, hope? It draws me back. And I fail. Over and over again.
I think I'm suffering from depression, but in this world, who would notice? Or care?
Water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.